Thursday, April 30, 2015

On being Fleeced.....

It was a good day.  It started with a lovely A&W coffee time with my man.  As it was Thursday, we followed up the coffee time with, what I call the weekly "Seek and Find Adventure". I figured that I'd call it something other than what it actually was in order to fully get into the event and enjoy the day. it was grocery shopping....there...I said it.  Yes, we went GROCERY SHOPPING! (using the upper case makes it sound like I'm yelling, right?...right!) So grocery shopping with husband can sometimes be an actual fun and adventurous time and we have, some weeks at least, come away from our adventure unscathed.

This week was no different...well, other than a few direct harsh words expressed to my man when he wouldn't listen to my point of view on a very important many bagels were left in the freezer and should we buy another package this week or leave it until next week. It was important to me, at least.  So I huffed and puffed and spitted out the words "I shall buy them TODAY!!" (you really had to be there to appreciate the full effect of my childishness and pompousness, not to mention his self-righteousness and anoying snicker..heeheehee). The bagels were stuffed into the cart.

Our crazy attitudes diminished together as our cart pushed past the meat section. Steak used to be a favorite of ours.  But looking at the prices, we realized what we had been hearing about seniors not being able to afford to eat was seemingly true!   Well, eating steak, at least.  Two nice little steaks.....$30.  One can buy a lot of bagels for thirty bucks!  We looked longingly at those morsels...then at each other....and walked on by....just like the song. That was one store.

On to the next store.  Checking out the flyers. Comparing prices.  I totally think it's a waste of time.  Let's take into account the gas we use from our honkin' big truck, tootling about from one place to the next...then wear and tear on said truck, not to mention our precious time!  Well, perhaps not the time, as retired folks' time doesn't really appear to matter too much.  You's all we have, right?  Anyway, take the time away and it boils down to a waste of gas...and pollution of the air from said gas. Right??!!.  That was my defense.

On to the next store.  We won't mention this one.  All we did was buy water.

Home!  Sweet home!  Carry those bags.  One flight of stairs. Into the apartment and plop those bags on the floor..ready to put away.  Did I mention I also hate putting groceries away?  Ya...I hate putting groceries away...but I get right to it anyway.  Husband seems to have some really important phone calls to make at that particular time...but I shall put the %&)(^)(*&_)(#*%^)#%^%*groceries away. (I love making all those one can actually see my meaning...they could be curse words but I won't say!)

I'm getting right into it. Throwing the food into the fridge...slam. Dropping cans into cupboard...bang. Husband doesn't even seem to notice anything unusual....until he heard the words..."Oh sh**!!!!" See, I can't even type the word....but it squeeked out of my mouth at any rate.  Not sure if I felt worse for saying it, or the fact that while holding paper towels under my right arm plus a recycling paper bin and the very large, heavy bottle of Fleecy in my left hand by the top...not the handle....I felt the Fleecy bang on the floor and I was left holding it's top.  Looking down I was staring at the Fleecy bottle glug...glug...glugging it's softening scent in ripples over the storage room floor....all blue and thick and heading under the freezer and the floor boards.  I scooped up the bottle, handing it to husband, who, upon hearing the agonozing shouts from his usually tranquil wife, had appeared out of nowhere.  He grabbed a very thin spatula and a bowl...handing it to me....and I began the ordeal of keeping this putrid mass of blue goo contained into one single pond.  Have YOU ever tried scooping Fleecy with a spatula into a bowl?  NO???  Probably not.  I kept scooping and plopping, scooping and plopping until the sea of blue was mostly off the floor and into the plastic bowl.  Husband got the seive and poured it back into Mr. Fleecy's big blue bottle.  So my slippers were consumed with the stuff, it had splashed all over the bottom half of the freezer, over the two water jugs, several plastic containers, assorted bags, the door, the wall and I suppose I will continue to find splotches and drips of this goop from now until....well, until we get Fleeced again.

The house was instantly refreshed and my hands, especially.  Ever tried to get that smell OFF your hands and clothes?  Me neither...until today.  I felt like I needed to be thrown into the washer and put on the spin cycle without Fleecy for an hour or so.  Anyway, I suppose the grocery buying wasn't so bad after all...and hey, even though we were Fleeced, husband and I did a pretty fine job of bonding through the ordeal. We're still speaking!