Long talks...some one-on-one. Many "group" discussions....mostly impromptu. Laughter with resulting tears! Tears with resulting grace. Music. Late nights (for some:) Kitchen duties. Hot nights (literally...I woke up having a nightmare where I had been stuck in a sauna and someone was turning the steam up higher and higher and I screamed out for them to stop...woke myself up and I'm sure the rest of the lodge!!!) Listening. Taking some really fun photos. AND......it snowed! Beautiful.
I love these women. Really. They have been and continue to be an encouragement and source of spiritual strength for me...even when I am in the midst of doubts about my own faith. I haven't heard judgement or negative comments or glib remarks or cliches....nothing. They will walk with me through my "season of unbelief" to the other side...wherever the other side will be. I don't know yet. But they are there, caring and loving and challenging me. I don't think many spiritual places will allow for this kind of questioning and doubting and turning away but I believe wherever I will go, these friends will walk with me...as far as they can. Perhaps I will have to go the rest of the way alone...but I know I will be loved.
And another thing...I know God is so much bigger than pat answers, and knowing-all comments and judgements. He is bigger than we can imagine him to be. Bigger than all the thoughts we have of him and so much more inclusive than we give him credit for. He is bigger than our own finite thoughts and bigger than our limited reasonings. Bigger than all the "Christian-eese" answers we rotely (is that a word??) throw out to anyone and everyone and bigger than my little pea brain:)
So ya, this weekend was one of being true to ourselves and one of allowing each other the freedom to be honest. Some folks find honesty....well, just a bit too difficult to handle, but my friends allow my freedom into this realm and I have come away encouraged. Perhaps others have doubts too but have difficulty expressing those doubts. Maybe we are making for ourselves a safe haven, a place to finally be truthful about our questions...even that we have them. Jesus understood that. We want to be like him, therefore, we had better be understanding of others questions too.
But as the weekend drew to a close, I knew I had been cared for.
Here we are....
4 comments:
Aw, look at everyone! Insert my face in there, would you? :)
Sounds like a really profound time there together. Glad you were able to find a safe haven through your "season of unbelief," which is a stage like any other.
"And another thing...I know God is so much bigger than pat answers, and knowing-all comments and judgements. He is bigger than we can imagine him to be. Bigger than all the thoughts we have of him and so much more inclusive than we give him credit for. He is bigger than our own finite thoughts and bigger than our limited reasonings."
Very true, I think.
Now, just for fun, write a post where God is only 'She' and see what happens;)
Dixie, I would if I could! Ahhhhh...memories....
Matt: I think I can be honest and open one little step at a time...and thank you for constantly challenging me with your many thoughts on life. In the scheme of things, it really doesn't matter what God is...he, she, it. I think Spirit would be all-compassing. There.
OOPS....that should be "all-incompassing".
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