Well, that was a long dry spell! Nine months to be exact.
Life can do some pretty crazy things in that period of time and my life is no different.
There have been major moves. You know, Elvis type moves...hip wrenching, foot twisting, back breaking kinds of moves that made life quite different for Ken and I.
I had gotten pretty used to having Matt live away from home and to have him come home a couple of times a year to say hi, and get caught up a bit on his life. Although, having him at home for several months last year was a time that will not soon be forgotten. It was good to simply have his presence here even if it meant he was gone a good part of the time visiting, helping, volunteerng and the like. So now that he is once again back in Winnipeg going to university, my mind is readily prepared to not have him close by any more. But in my heart, I miss him terribly.
And this year when Shannon moved to Saskatoon, that hit me pretty hard. I had been used to having her around...not literally in our house, but close by. And she's a communicator! I appreciate that about her so much probably because I'm not much of a talker. I enjoy hearing about her life and the expressions on her face as she speaks of it. I always know where she stands, pretty much. It's always been that way. She has always been a strong, selfl-sufficient person, too. I am not so strong. She's a talker. I'm a listener. She enjoys being outdoors. I'd rather sit in a blanket on the couch. We're pretty much opposites. And yet, I miss her presence, even though she is close enough to go and visit now and then...I miss all those things about her.
Then there's Brittney. Our one and only grandchild. The young woman that comes into our home like a strong, warm breeze and fills us up with herself. Her laughter. Her gentleness. Her grace. Her sweetness and liveliness! Her open and heartfelt love for her Grammy and Grampy. And having her live in Saskatoon too, has left us with an open spot, an unfilled spot which no one can fill but her.
Yes, it's the realization that a human being can make another human being's life and existance feel worthwhile. That children and grandchildren are a true blessing from God. That life takes on various looks and feelings because of various person's presence or lack of presence in our lives. It is good that we get to choose how we will react to these changes. Some people live miserably lonely lives without their loved ones. Others do quite fine.
I think Ken and I are in the "quite fine" category. We find ourselves feeling lonely at first when these loved ones aren't in our presence but by the grace of God, we get our bearings for life again and carry on with living. We appreciate being with our children but we also appreciate being with just each another. We're finding there are still things to learn about the other, or perhaps it's the fact that we, like our children, are changing into different people than we were 10, 20 or 40 years ago and there are things yet to figure out.
I guess all of this was spawned from our friend losing his wife. He speaks of appreciating one another while people are here to appreciate, for life can end all too quickly. It's a truth. Yes, we find that we can live without a person we love, but it takes time, time to heal the lonliness, time of adjust without that person, time to learn to live alone once again.
The journey of life simply continues on it's way, with us or without us; with our loved ones or without them and THAT is another truth of life. It's how we eventually face that truth that can make life worth living again....or not.....
So, here's to a New Year. May it show us new things about ourselves and give us a great deal of hope to live a worthwhile and productive life, while we are still able to do so! And for those who live with the sting of death haunting them each day, may that sense of hope gradually, slowly overtake you and give you peace...
Happy New Year!
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