I didn't stay over....

at the Harry Jerome Track last night. I was in bed by 1 a.m. .....sleeping whilst my team mates weathered the cold night air and the constant wind. I trust it settled down by the early morning hours for them all. I managed to sleep in until after 8:30. Woke up with aching joints and sore limbs, nonethless.

I still haven't heard the financial results of the Relay for Life but I'm trusting they made a pile of cash.

Today we just did errands after we went for breakfast.

The breakfast conversation consisted of thoughts of the man who used to sell his wife's baking at the Farmer's Market here in town, Bill Ewashko. Bill died last year of cancer. Husband and I recalled going to their home to pick up some of his wife's great buns and bread, stopping in for a chat and them telling us about their daughter having cancer too. She died this week.

I don't know about you, but I'm not sure just how folks manage to pick up the pieces of their lives when they have such tradgedy. I know God sustains us....somehow. I've been there. But a husband AND an only daughter.....well, that is what we talked about over breakfast. When we think on these things, wondering what would happen if those kinds of things befell our family, and when we wonder about the hows and whys, we say "no, I could never survive that, nor would I want to!!!"

But you know what??? We do survive. We do go on. Somehow, within the deepest part of our being, comes tiny shards of hope, like the first slivers of light at day break. There is a different look to the sky just before sunrise. There are no rays, just an ability to see things around you a bit more clearly and then as the earth progresses on its path, the first rays touch the tips of the highest buildings and trees and then it shines full force, right into your bedroom window.

That is how I could describe facing the pain of death. It's like God only allows our hearts to take in minute amounts of pain at a time, slowly (probably to allow us to get the details of funeral and burial over with)....ever-so-slowly and then in a flash, it hits you full force, hard enough to blind you. Well, you're blinded with the pain for a time but as the sun rises and the earth continues on it's path, away from the sharpness of the noonday light, it becomes less harsh once again until it reaches the softness of the night.

The earth may make it's orbit once every 24 hours, but the pain of death can make it's orbit every 24 seconds..........or less........

I'm glad that God lives in that beating, inner part of me, the part that offers the hope of a new day...of a new moment.

Sometimes a moment is all we can handle.

Tonight's the night....

Yes, it's "RELAY FOR LIFE" time, ladies & gentlemen. The Canadian Cancer Society is hosting the walk-a-thon this evening....that's walk-a-thon.....NOT "walk a thong".....as a retired co-worker put it..... so, we won't be walking our thongs, as some would have it, but we will be walking around the Harry Jerome Track tonight....with or without our thongs.......

Our team, the Forest Service "Studs & Peelers", will be out there in full force...a bit smaller team this year, but we'll be putting our efforts forth nonetheless.

As most teams do, we raise money all year long, so it's not a "one night stand", as it were. We host Wednesday Bistros, Pie Days, Cheesecake Bake-Offs, BBQ's and other miscellaneous fund raising activities. We work hard to raise money for this event, to put some much-needed cash into the Cancer Society for their needs.

I would like to publicly thank our captain, Val Nicholson, who is one great person to have as our team captain. She organizes, goes to extra meetings, does a million other little things, most of which go unnoticed to encourage us onward and upward towards this night. So, thanks a kazillion, Val. You're the very best captain we could ever hope for!!

This will be the first year I didn't stay overnight, I think. My body says I should get my sleep, so I shall leave the long wee hours of the morning to the rest of my teammates. They shall be walking and I shall be sleeping...I feel like I'm letting them down but I know my limits!

So, here I go 'til midnight or so. I managed to personally fund raise just short of $300......down from last years total for me, but I suppose when you put all the monies together, we will have done well.

Had better get husbands camouflage rain jacket....just in case it pours.

Thanks for supporting this great cause everyone. Three years ago, our co-worker died of cancer, while we walked the track....brings back memories..........

May the Lord watch over those who are suffering this night, for those who also will die this night and for their families.

Community....

There's so much about living in community that I enjoy.

For one thing, when we say "potluck tomorrow night at so-and-so's house"....the response is usually, "great, let's see what's in the fridge to bring.....maybe I'll stop by KFC or I probably could whip up a salad and cut up a watermelon. I think we've got some nacho chips in the cupboard and salsa." When community all thinks like that, it's a smorgasborg to delight even the most finicky of eaters. People bring buns and breads of various descriptions, hotdogs, Trifles, cobblers, hamburgers, veggies and dip...more than we all can eat, certainly.

People came when they were able. Some worked later than others but still there was plenty for all. We sat around and laughed and talked. We watched with praying hearts as old and young children tried their skills on the trampoline...yikes!!!! Babies wandered about, learning to walk up steps, falling and walking again. Everyone helped everyone else.

The host and hostess were generous, kind and gracious too....along with their children.

Community also means sharing in the needs of others, sharing in their joys and sorrows, their accomplishments and their disappointments, their hopes fulfilled and their dreams that have been shattered.

I hugged a friend tonight. I felt her and her husbands disappointment for their hard working son, and it saddened me greatly. I felt for all of them. Some experiences in life can never be taken back or made right for the moment, when the dream should have been fulfilled but wasn't, through no fault of their own. I cried for my friends.

There is a place in community to share those times in life. I'm so glad I am a part of that, where my life is not really my own. I am accountable to my friends but I also I depend on them for their support and encouragement.

Yes. I am blessed to live in a caring community, a community of Christ followers who are learning the lessons of how to love deeply and unconditionally......... and freely.

Gateway Covenant Church is a great place to be real, to have fun and to eat big meals together. The early church was like that too....a place where people wanted to become a part, where they were loved and where people really knew who they were.

It talks about it in Acts 2:46, 47:

"They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved."

So, you want to become a part of a community??? Do I have the place for you.......

An experience...

A beautiful May spring day it was.

When I came home at lunch time, I brewed a spot o' tea and took it outside with me to sip.

Put my chair facing south...into the sun.....sat back, feet up.....and sipped.

The tea was ever-so-fine.

The air was breathtaking....as in, when I took a breath in it was like breathing in a 3 dimensional virtual canvas that swallowed up your senses into one gigantic, passionate nature high.

Fragrances from the flowering blossoms near by, along with the scent of freshly cut grass, budding leaves and newly cultivated soil, all made for a moment in aroma paradise.

Green surrounded me, flowers gazed proudly out from their various sized pots, anxious to strutt their stuff. I didn't want to be the one to tell them that that was as far as they would be going but a few were hanging out and over their confines to show me just how daring and bold they could be.

Sun burst over me, warming my bones and my eyeballs, toenails and lips, bathing me in Vitamin D.

Too many more of these half hour erotic experiences and I'll have to stay indoors...........

I wonder...

I wonder if people look at me and the things I do and think to themselves, "So, that's what she's really like...not the person I figured her to be, that's for sure. I think she tries to impress others by the way she speaks and if she's trying to impress others, she probably doesn't have much confidence in who she is as a person. I think she's a total fake!"

Anyway, if you find out things about me like that, just whack me over the head with a 2 x 4. It would be better than me being superficial and trying to look important.....and it might even knock some sense into me. It could be a good thing.

There are just some events in life that make me shake my head and really wonder about folks.

But I wonder about myself too. I think that even if we do have Christ within us, changing us into His likeness, we still can become arrogant, perhaps a bit self-centered, thinking more highly of ourselves than we aught. Perhaps we could still attempt to make ourselves look better than the person sitting across from us, as a way of being superior to that person. Have you ever witnessed a person really taking over a conversation, attempting to get others to think they are very intelligent and highly educated and really on the ball about everything.

Ya, it makes me sick to my stomach too.

Christ says that our only confidence should be in Him.....not ourselves.

I shall attempt to remember that a little more often. If I don't like to see it in others, I surely do not want to see it in me!

May the Lord have mercy on me......

Let's try that again....

How difficult can it be to go to the cinema?

Well, seems like there's always something that comes along to take you somewhere OTHER than the cinema.

Tonight, we have a one track mind.

We'll see Indiana Jones if it kills me! ;-)

He has such a nice looking, gentle face that Harrison Ford.....not that I'm going just to look at him, or anything.

Grab the sheets.

By the sounds of it, we may get a degree or so of frost tonight.....soooooooo, grab those sheets and get on outside to cover all your sweet little darlings up so they won't get cold.

Most flowers will perish if we don't do our part to save them.

Up and at 'em. Here I go.

It's worth the effort.

Just wished I could cover Ms. Appletree whose lovely blossoms are peeking through.

I'm off.....sheets in hand.

Of course, it may not freeze either.

But, I'm not going to chance it.....my flowers were a Mother's Day gift, afterall.