Inclusivity

Here is a photo of Gateway Covenant's children on any given Sunday. 

All colors. All sizes. All ages. All loved.

This photo reminds me.....do you ever stop to consider how your mind works regarding.....inclusivity?  I had to really stop and think about what that word means to me.  Some questions in this regard popped up! Does it mean inviting everyone to my birthday party...or just people I like and are the same as me? Or does inclusiveness mean making sure when I speak to people, I keep eye contact off and on with everyone and not just one specific person? And what about the color of people's skin?  Will I only like one color of person?  perhaps two colors (if everyone meets my expectations)? Who shall I "include" in my circle of friends?  And why do we even have these kinds of "judgment thoughts"?

I think inclusiveness comes from the heart....not the mind. And when it comes from the heart, it will be good and true and kind and loving.  It will overlook things. It will have no barrier between colors or ethnicity or sexuality or social status. It will include everyone and all they are. It will seek out the good in them. Inclusiveness will build....RELATIONSHIP.

It's what Jesus said we are to do.  He said: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind and 'Love your neighbor as yourself'." Luke 10:27

My neighbor is.....everyone!  So, I need to love everyone, just like I love my own self and care for  and look after my own life.When loving and caring happens with your neighbor, RELATIONSHIP happens!  

Let's be inclusive.  Life seems to work better when we are.

Have a lovely evening.....oh, and don't forget to include your cat, Fluffy. She likes to be loved, too!

I

Here we go....again....

Almost three years have come and gone since I last posted!  Seems like other forms of media have taken over...Facebook, for one.

So, how are things with all of you?  As for me, I'm a few years older, had cataract surgery, joints have become somewhat less happy with life, hair is a bit longer, children have grown into good, likeable adults for quite a while now and granddaughter is finding her way in life. Husband, like myself, is slowing down some but we both recognize one another each morning and THAT is something!

I'm learning to listen to my body and my spirit these days.  Taking time to rejuvenate and breathe.  One can get oneself into a volunteering frenzy and the weariness creeps up on ones body and soul. So, I'm hearing some things that I've neglected to acknowledge for several months now and I am learning how to "rest" and enjoy some "stillness" as I walk through my day.  That can be a difficult task, but I'm attempting to discipline my life to allow times of silence to give me that rest. It's also a time to come closer to God in these moments.  It takes discipline, for certain.  It all goes against my grain!  But I shall try.

January brings thoughts of members of my family who have died. Ken's father, John, passed away thirty years ago January 15.  My mom, Patricia, died thirty years ago tomorrow, January 19 as well and my older brother, Garry, four years ago tomorrow.  We come....and we go.....and are left with memories to cherish.

It's very cold tonight, down to -35 with windchill of -44.  Keep warm my friends. It's good to connect on here once again.  Will see what 2019 brings and will attempt to let you know how it's progressing as the months pass.

Sleep well....because these days, that in itself is a true blessing.

Time....and time....again...

It's been close to 9 months!

That statement could be cause for great consternation for some. For others...excitement mixed with fear.  Much can happen in 9 months!!

Where do I begin?  Has life been so full and yet so ho-hum that nothing can be said?  I have come to the opinion that as one gets older, time really does take on a life of its own. Seconds don't seem to exist nor do minutes or hours for that matter.  Life is on this fast-paced, down-hill zip line that doesn't stop for anyone or anything. It's rolling right on through. Is is because of our regimented days? Or what about this thing called time. Is it that when we get older we get into a new continuum of time where we have a much different outlook on it than when we were young?  I don't know.  All I know is that before I can say "Happy Monday"...it's already Sunday....again. Very strange....very strange, indeed.

Am I the only person realizing this phenomenon?  Surely not. I got to thinking that it may be a sign of dementia where people no longer recognize time as an element of a person's past, present and future. They simply exist in a cocoon of sorts...no morning...no evening...no present or past. Just breathing in...breathing out....awaiting their time for departure. I don't think I'm there exactly because I can still rationalize to a degree....this is good.

Over these 9 months, I have been learning lessons about myself, my existence, my purpose, my hope, my 'raison d'etre", (is that how you spell that??? haven't taken French for over 50 years) of sorts. And we all know what that means. Learning lessons is tough stuff.  I don't particularly enjoy finding out that I can be an a**h***! But at least when one realizes their shortcomings one can begin to work on eliminating those shortcomings. Humbling...yes.  But certainly worth ones effort to change...over time.

Time can be a tricky little fiend.

So, how about you?  Are you feeling time slipping away by weeks and months..years, even?  If you are, perhaps you find yourself over sixty, a few grey hairs, complete with a full pill box!  Pills to help you pee, pills to invigorate your thyroid, pills to stop gout from raging in your big toe, pills to help with your crazy digestive tract, pills to ease your aching back, or shoulder, or knee or hip or any joint that should be moving. Ya. Not that I'm complaining....just aching.

Not only does time go by quickly now but it also does something else. It appears to be giving me clearer vision.  Oh, I don't mean that I don't need glasses (well, after my cataract surgery, I probably won't), but I can see life more clearly. I see things that once were vital to my existence, now have very little purpose at all. The "things" in this life have all but disappeared...and relationships remain. They are becoming more vital, much more deep and purposeful. I believe I am a most fortunate person because I am able to say this. Not that life has become an easy, float-along-with-me kind of existence but one of sincerity and trust and understanding and care, where I see people with different eyes...less judgemental, kinder somehow. I give that credit to God alone. I don't seem to be able to change into a better person without His divine help!

These are some dear, God-seeking women whose friendships have become vital in my life.

Although I have not been writng prolifically on this media forum, I do find myself writing. Seems like yesterday that I wrote on here...but 9 months have passed me by. May this evening find you pleasantly content, in good health and a smile on your face...after all, we may just find that tomorrow will end up being January 1, 2017. Life is funny like that. Sleep well...but not too long....

May spiritual blessings fall on you and keep you at peace this night.

For those living life below Zero C....

These are the days of looooooooong shadows. Sun rises at 9:09 AM and sets at 5:17 PM.  Winter.  January.  Saskatchewan.

Now just that tiny little paragraph would scare off the most seasoned adventurous type folks, don't you think?  But it makes me think of us here in this barren, frosted-over, freeze-your-buns-off place we call home. I watch the Weather Network...a LOT...and daily compare ourselves here in Prince Albert to our more southern, tropic-like city of Saskatoon...or Regina....or North Battleford...or Yorkton....or Moose Jaw.....and good ole' P.A. usually has the second coldest 'normals for this day', next to La Ronge...in ALL of Saskatchewan.  So when I say, we are seasoned winter folk, we have the stats to prove it!  I'm sure other folks keep track like I do.  In fact, I know they do.  We begin comparing temperatures...you know, like comparing hair styles, clothes, figures, houses, teeth, children, spouses, dogs....we compare our temps to those of other places.  I think comparing stuff like temps is pretty fun but when we begin to compare other things, it can get way out of hand. We aren't supposed to do it.....

I'm sure it's because we want to make more of ourselves. If we compare ourself to Josephine Blow, surely she will not in any way measure up to US, right?  We get ourselves in there and make like we are really better...in every possible way.  But I suppose we could go the other route and say that when we compare ourselves to others, we make like we are much less than what we really are.  So, either way, we're hooped!  No comparisions.  Best way to live!

In January though, I find myself comparing other things that don't involve people. I like to compare some of the photos I've taken in the summer and compare them to ones that have been clicked in the throws of winter. The feeling you get when viewing and comparing them is interesting. Seeing a photo of that summer sun beating down makes you almost warm inside...a good thing when it's -35C!!

January usually finds us indoors more of the time.  We nestle down with some hot chocolate and a book....all cozy with our blanket....and read. It's what I do, at least.  A perfect time for that sedentary hobby!  A perfect time for thinking.  A perfect time for comparing.....yes, comparing!  Have we been measuring up to our potential? How do we measure up to the way we were this time last year? If we are Christians, we have a lot of comparing to do, I think. Have we improved in a particular discipline since we began that discipline a year ago? Not comparing ourselves to others but to how we have progressed along the way. Are we more loving and caring than we were yesterday.  Comparing CAN be a good exercise when it makes us accountable to ourselves. What about that discipline of prayer? Can we say we are into a good rhythm of daily prayer compared to say....five years ago?  As we compare, we are hopefully, moving ourselves forward like the seasons of the earth.

People though, have seasons, too!  We may find ourselve in a difficult time, a winter of our life. We feel cold. Unable to move in any direction. We kind of just hibernate....until the warmth of the Son comes and He thaws out our cold, ridgid hearts.  And the season of our life turns to spring where the seed is planted again, and we prepare ourselves for a season of growth. We learn lessons. We begin to again feel the heart working to prepare us for a season of harvest, one in which others can benefit from our own growth. And on and on it goes.

Seasons.

It's when our lives are below Zero....cold, stiff, immovable, and we believe we are ready to die from it all.....that is the time....when we are at our coldest and hardest and lowest into the darkness of our souls..... and our last breath is near, do we look and see in this state of hibernation that the only way to life...is UP...UP out of the ground,...UP to take a new breath.....UP into freshness and warmth that only the Son can bring.

I pray that if you find yourself these days in that cold state of nothingness...that before that last breath is taken, that you take one more look UP. See the possibilities. See the goodness. See life.

Remember....it's simply a season...and seasons do change!  May you find peace in realizing that truth.

My PC flew the coop....

It happened all of a sudden....C R A S H.....

Nope.  Not a car.  Not a biking accident. Didn't fall over the balcony or out of bed!

My computer decided that this was the day to end it's life.  It had been a good PC.  Personally fashioned by the hands of a friend. Mr. PC simply said that it had had enough of trying and struggling to compute and headed for computer heaven...without me, thank heaven!

It was a fairly silent farewell.  Actually, it didn't even whimper. It just decided to not start up....ever again. I attempted to press that "on" switch many times....for many days...thinking it may be just a bit temperamental and all that...somewhat like me!  It was not to be.  I heard not another purr, click or wheeze...and I suspect ever will again.

Now I'm one who believes that things get second chances....even computers!  So perhaps we will send this beast back to it's creator to see if he can revive the dead...or at least retrieve my pictures.

So...no computer...no printer....just this handy-dandy laptop.

I love the world of electronics...when they work and live to await your every command.

On being Fleeced.....

It was a good day.  It started with a lovely A&W coffee time with my man.  As it was Thursday, we followed up the coffee time with, what I call the weekly "Seek and Find Adventure". I figured that I'd call it something other than what it actually was in order to fully get into the event and enjoy the day.

OK.....so it was grocery shopping....there...I said it.  Yes, we went GROCERY SHOPPING! (using the upper case makes it sound like I'm yelling, right?...right!) So grocery shopping with husband can sometimes be an actual fun and adventurous time and we have, some weeks at least, come away from our adventure unscathed.

This week was no different...well, other than a few direct harsh words expressed to my man when he wouldn't listen to my point of view on a very important matter...how many bagels were left in the freezer and should we buy another package this week or leave it until next week. It was important to me, at least.  So I huffed and puffed and spitted out the words "I shall buy them TODAY!!" (you really had to be there to appreciate the full effect of my childishness and pompousness, not to mention his self-righteousness and anoying snicker..heeheehee). The bagels were stuffed into the cart.

Our crazy attitudes diminished together as our cart pushed past the meat section. Steak used to be a favorite of ours.  But looking at the prices, we realized what we had been hearing about seniors not being able to afford to eat was seemingly true!   Well, eating steak, at least.  Two nice little steaks.....$30.  One can buy a lot of bagels for thirty bucks!  We looked longingly at those morsels...then at each other....and walked on by....just like the song. That was one store.

On to the next store.  Checking out the flyers. Comparing prices.  I totally think it's a waste of time.  Let's take into account the gas we use from our honkin' big truck, tootling about from one place to the next...then wear and tear on said truck, not to mention our precious time!  Well, perhaps not the time, as retired folks' time doesn't really appear to matter too much.  You know...it's all we have, right?  Anyway, take the time away and it boils down to a waste of gas...and pollution of the air from said gas. Right??!!.  That was my defense.

On to the next store.  We won't mention this one.  All we did was buy water.

Home!  Sweet home!  Carry those bags.  One flight of stairs. Into the apartment and plop those bags on the floor..ready to put away.  Did I mention I also hate putting groceries away?  Ya...I hate putting groceries away...but I get right to it anyway.  Husband seems to have some really important phone calls to make at that particular time...but I shall put the %&)(^)(*&_)(#*%^)#%^%*groceries away. (I love making all those symbols...no one can actually see my meaning...they could be curse words but I won't say!)

I'm getting right into it. Throwing the food into the fridge...slam. Dropping cans into cupboard...bang. Husband doesn't even seem to notice anything unusual....until he heard the words..."Oh sh**!!!!" See, I can't even type the word....but it squeeked out of my mouth at any rate.  Not sure if I felt worse for saying it, or the fact that while holding paper towels under my right arm plus a recycling paper bin and the very large, heavy bottle of Fleecy in my left hand by the top...not the handle....I felt the Fleecy bang on the floor and I was left holding it's top.  Looking down I was staring at the Fleecy bottle glug...glug...glugging it's softening scent in ripples over the storage room floor....all blue and thick and heading under the freezer and the floor boards.  I scooped up the bottle, handing it to husband, who, upon hearing the agonozing shouts from his usually tranquil wife, had appeared out of nowhere.  He grabbed a very thin spatula and a bowl...handing it to me....and I began the ordeal of keeping this putrid mass of blue goo contained into one single pond.  Have YOU ever tried scooping Fleecy with a spatula into a bowl?  NO???  Probably not.  I kept scooping and plopping, scooping and plopping until the sea of blue was mostly off the floor and into the plastic bowl.  Husband got the seive and poured it back into Mr. Fleecy's big blue bottle.  So my slippers were consumed with the stuff, it had splashed all over the bottom half of the freezer, over the two water jugs, several plastic containers, assorted bags, the door, the wall and I suppose I will continue to find splotches and drips of this goop from now until....well, until we get Fleeced again.

The house was instantly refreshed and my hands, especially.  Ever tried to get that smell OFF your hands and clothes?  Me neither...until today.  I felt like I needed to be thrown into the washer and put on the spin cycle without Fleecy for an hour or so.  Anyway, I suppose the grocery buying wasn't so bad after all...and hey, even though we were Fleeced, husband and I did a pretty fine job of bonding through the ordeal. We're still speaking!

Thinking....of freedom.....

There are circumstances in life that gets one thinking of the many freedoms I take for granted. I can go about doing them whenever I choose. Here is a list of a few...
walking safely from one room to another
having what I want to eat
listening to whatever type of music I want, when I want
heading off to church in my vehicle
having a shower
touching the one I love
hugging a friend
phoning or texting anyone I wish
giving and receiving of gifts
walking in the forest
biking down a trail
watching the sun rise and set
hearing happy news
expressing my opinion without fear
holding hands
laughing with people I love and care about
looking my family in the eye
touching a cheek
kissing
hearing robins and crows
wrapping Christmas gifts
decorating a tree and topping it with the angel
putting up lights everywhere
going out to a movie
having peace of mind
planning a trip
wearing new clothes
fellowship with friends over coffee
sipping a glass of good wine
writing a letter without it being inspected
to look to my left and my right...without fear
sleeping in a tent
engaging in good conversation
cooking a hot dog over an open fire
walking by the river
being with a dying loved one
flying to another country
buying a couch
having a passport
fishing in a beautiful lake
using my gifts of creativity...such as they are
walking out the front door
using a key
dressing up and going to a party
visiting someone in hospital
hoping

Next time I do any one of the above, I will thank God for my freedom to engage these gifts and pray for the Spirit to comfort those who cannot have any of them.

My heart and the heart of my family is broken....

Here....or there....

We were close, my older brother, Garry, and I.  Not so much in proximity, (although an hour and a half away is really quite close) but close in heart.  Does that make sense?  Close in our 'heart ways'.  Close in our senses of humour. Close in our 'people ways'.

But....I was here...and he was there....

Does it really make that much difference when siblings live a ways away from one another?  It doesn't seem to make any difference at all when it comes to how we feel about each other...even if I am here....and he is there....

We grew up together.  Ate together.  Played together.  Laughed together. Cried together (when mother settled disputes!!!). Went to church together. He went his way and I went mine after eighteen years of being in the same house.  But love doesn't leave or separate. Still, I was here...and he moved there.....

Years came and went. We'd phone though at Christmas or special days like birthdays and St. Patrick's Day and days to tell one another that this one or that one had passed away....or election days!  But with a family in tow, it wasn't easy to jump into the car and go for a visit...for either of us.  Especially when I was here...and he was there....

Our family members...one by one....died.  We comforted each other as best we could with tears and words and hugs.  Even when he had been very ill, he managed to come and be with me as we grieved together the loss of a younger brother, a father, a mother...we were family...and he and I were what was left. I was here....and although he was there....he selflessly came here.....

And so, as I grieve with tears at his memory and my loss, I look back on our lives together...yet apart.  The way it is supposed to be.

Still, even though he was in the hospital in his last days, saying he didn't want visitors, I am needing to come to terms with not going to see him. I knew him well enough to say he had a subborn streak a mile long, not unlike my own:)  so I was appreciating his wishes...and not going to him.  He would be out in a few short days, I was told.  It made me anxious with his blood pressure so low...that I was here.....and he was there.....

Now, the end of his life has come.  New life is happening in that sacred place for him...a place where I cannot yet be....yet, for now....I am here....and he is there....rejoicing!

It has found me....

Yes, as hard as I try, I just cannot avoid it.

I've attempted to hide.  It found me.

I ignored it. It grabbed me.

It hit me over the head...and crushed me! It seared my soul to it's depths.

And yet, here I am....still.

The sting of death has not overtaken me and I live on.

My older brother, Garry, died last night. The sting of that hit me hard and fast like a lightening bolt. He wasn't content with how his body had been treating him for the past 29 years.  There were things he overcame...major physical barriers...but he kept on...fighting like the fiesty Irishman he was until there was no more left in him to fight with.  He finally let go....

He was a fellow who spoke his mind...always...except if he thought it may hurt you too badly.

He laughed a lot and enjoyed the humour in everything.

He teased...how well I remember as a young girl being teased by him...and NOT liking it!

He was a heart man...in every way! He cared deeply for his family and loved them all unconditionally.

He was a sportsman.  From golf to goose hunting....and everything in between.

I liked him as a person and admired him for his ability to get things done.

He worked hard and was a store manager who not only managed...he worked WITH his staff...rolling up his sleeves and digging in. I admired that about him, too.

He was a wild and crazy kid as he grew up.  Flying around on his bike...then racing around in his car. He loved life and living it.

So, in speaking of living ones life, his was a great example of living ones life well.  Through much adversity, he lived life fully and with a great amount of joy.

The sting of death has crept into our lives for a time.  I know it will leave...eventually. In the meantime, I shall endure it's pain because when you love, you are called to endure as well. Love is like that...offering up it's sweetness and goodness in another...and then it is gone.  But not without leaving a part of it behind...in us.

I said to Ken tonight as we sat and chatted about Garry at the supper table, that I have no fear in death...I do, however, have a certain fear of dying.  The passive and the active.  Death will be freeing. Death will usher me into a new place, a good place where I have never been before.  But the dying is the active part...where the suffering, the sickness, the fear comes in. It would be great to skip that part!  But that isn't what life offers.

When we have a belief in something beyond life, it gives us a great deal of hope...hope of something better, a place where love is, a place to be away from suffering and the sting that being left behind brings. A place where God is present.  I don't really know what that will look like but I like to think it will be grand...just grand.

So, here's to you, dear brother Garry, and a life well lived. Thanks for being a part of it with me. you were loved...deeply...and sincerely....

We all were a part of his life....and always will be.  Love to you, dear brother....

Life changes...and challenges....

Well, that was a long dry spell! Nine months to be exact.

Life can do some pretty crazy things in that period of time and my life is no different.

There have been major moves.  You know, Elvis type moves...hip wrenching, foot twisting, back breaking kinds of moves that made life quite different for Ken and I.

I had gotten pretty used to having Matt live away from home and to have him come home a couple of times a year to say hi, and get caught up a bit on his life. Although, having him at home for several months last year was a time that will not soon be forgotten. It was good to simply have his presence here even if it meant he was gone a good part of the time visiting, helping, volunteerng and the like. So now that he is once again back in Winnipeg going to university, my mind is readily prepared to not have him close by any more. But in my heart, I miss him terribly.

And this year when Shannon moved to Saskatoon, that hit me pretty hard.  I had been used to having her around...not literally in our house, but close by.  And she's a communicator! I appreciate that about her so much probably because I'm not much of a talker.  I enjoy hearing about her life and the expressions on her face as she speaks of it.  I always know where she stands, pretty much. It's always been that way.  She has always been a strong, selfl-sufficient person, too.  I am not so strong. She's a talker.  I'm a listener. She enjoys being outdoors. I'd rather sit in a blanket on the couch.  We're pretty much opposites. And yet, I miss her presence, even though she is close enough to go and visit now and then...I miss all those things about her.

Then there's Brittney.  Our one and only grandchild. The young woman that comes into our home like a strong, warm breeze and fills us up with herself. Her laughter. Her gentleness. Her grace. Her sweetness and liveliness!  Her open and heartfelt love for her Grammy and Grampy. And having her live in Saskatoon too, has left us with an open spot, an unfilled spot which no one can fill but her.

Yes, it's the realization that a human being can make another human being's life and existance feel worthwhile. That children and grandchildren are a true blessing from God. That life takes on various looks and feelings because of various person's presence or lack of presence in our lives.  It is good that we get to choose how we will react to these changes. Some people live miserably lonely lives without their loved ones. Others do quite fine.

I think Ken and I are in the "quite fine" category. We find ourselves feeling lonely at first when these loved ones aren't in our presence but by the grace of God, we get our bearings for life again and carry on with living. We appreciate being with our children but we also appreciate being with just each another.  We're finding there are still things to learn about the other, or perhaps it's the fact that we, like our children, are changing into different people than we were 10, 20 or 40 years ago and there are things yet to figure out.

I guess all of this was spawned from our friend losing his wife.  He speaks of appreciating one another while people are here to appreciate, for life can end all too quickly. It's a truth. Yes, we find that we can live without a person we love, but it takes time, time to heal the lonliness, time of adjust without that person, time to learn to live alone once again.

The journey of life simply continues on it's way, with us or without us; with our loved ones or without them and THAT is another truth of life. It's how we eventually face that truth that can make life worth living again....or not.....

So, here's to a New Year.  May it show us new things about ourselves and give us a great deal of hope to live a worthwhile and productive life, while we are still able to do so! And for those who live with the sting of death haunting them each day, may that sense of hope gradually, slowly overtake you and give you peace...

Happy New Year!

Random thoughts on hypocrisy.....

Here's the thing.  I have long preached (and I'm sure in previous blog posts!!) that change is inevitable...good, even! I shout it from the rooftops to anyone who will listen...CHANGE, CHANGE, CHANGE.  It's what life is all about.  It's invigorating.  It brings us to new heights in our human experience.  It allows us to see things in a new light and for us to become better people.

In other words, it's good for us. Difficult, but good.

I still believe it is...deep down in my inner self.

And as much as I believe it to be so, I fail at change when it involves me having to let go of things...well, family, to be more exact. I fear it. It is my form of hypocrisy.

I can say it all in my head and know it to be true that letting go of children is how life is supposed to be...until I have to do the actual severing.

Is it just moms who find this difficult?  I don't know.  Perhaps our nurturing side gets in the way of allowing things to become what they were meant to be.

In my life, I have lost people very dear to me...parents, grandparents, a sibling, close friends, in-laws and cousins...to death.

But the letting go of our children, even thought they're all grown up, has been a more difficult thing for me, for various and probably unwarranted reasons.

Having said all of this, however, I'm beginning to realize, finally, the importance of contemplative prayer in my life.  I'm realizing that letting go of everything...thoughts, ideas, notions, experiences (past and present), children...everything...and letting God have that space within, is what is needed for me to be truly free and to embrace change without fear. It will also allow ME to become who God desires me to be.

Letting go....

Free falling.....

As frightening as it is, I know it's my next step in life.

Jack Frost...beware...he's out to get us...

Hey...it's been almost 2 months since the last posting here.  There's good reason for this!

If you're on Facebook, you already know I've been having my annual winter "moments of illness". And that's all I'll say about that!!!

Life is going by at a very quick pace, seems to me.  Since retirement it has almost gotten out of control.  It used to be that one day would run into another but I'm now finding that one month runs into another.  Wasn't it just January....yesterday?  Nope.  Heading into March this week!  Perhaps that is what happens when one is sick, also.  Your days speed by as you attempt to cope with the illness...doctors appointments, new drugs, trying to breathe, lack of sleep, etc. etc. You just want to be well and so those hours run into days, then into weeks and finally into months.  It can get away on you.

The one good thing though is that Shannon and Brittney had birthdays in February and so we managed to be together for one of those events.  Having Matt home for these few months added to the enjoyment of 'family time'.  It was good too, to have Brittney come home from Saskatoon for a very brief visit.  Do we ever see our children enough?  I really don't think so.....such is life....

So now the long wait through this next week as it gets down to honkin' cold temps.  I can't say I enjoy minus 35 degrees especially when March is on the horizon...and dare I say, spring is lurking but afraid to show her face quite yet. Jack Frost can be such a spoil sport.

So let's look forward to this:

It won't be long....

Priorities....

Life has been ticking along.  Some areas good.  Some not so good. But they are progressing at least, not going too far backward!

There has been so much going on in the past two months...not so much inwardly, unfortunately, but outwardly.  The busyness of life sometimes takes over and makes one shirk the responsibilities of one's inner life....spirit and soul life. That's not good.

It's usually circumstances of one sort or another that brings a person to, once again, face the realities of their own lives.  I like to think that I've been doing a fairly superb job at being a good..._____fill in the blank. It could be friend....boss....parent....wife....or any number of possibilities that one can think of.  When we are faced head on with our short-comings, however, life takes a bit of a spin.  It initially begins with our feeling incompetent, which in turn, leads us to feeling somewhat overwhelmed at our failures and then we begin the downward spiral into melancholy.

However, there is another way to face these "incompetencies".  It's realizing that, yes, we are constantly failing at one thing or another and then not to turn inwardly, but to ponder over this realization and think about how one can make the situation better.

It involves that tiny little word....e g o...

So small.

So significant.

It shouts, "I'm important!" "Make me first!"  "I'm your #1 priority!"

That constant wailing should bring us up short.

I'm beginning to learn that letting go of those things that seem to matter most in life, is the beginning of disallowing my little E G O to have it's way with me. Yes, I said "beginning to"!  You'd think after 66 years of living, I could have learned how to not trust anything that I think may make me look better than I really am.

I'm learning things.  How to speak more clearly.  How to confront lovingly. How to express feelings that are genuine and caring.  I think I have been doing those things to a degree, but you know, there is always a great deal of RFI (room for improvement). This is a part too, of our church's "Behavioral Covenant", where it says something to the effect..."we need to speak openly and honestly with one another and to offer our opinions with love and humility."  Things like that.  It takes practice. It takes work.  It takes failure.  Only when we fail, do we realize our need for those RFI's!!!!

So, it's not just in church matters, or work-related matters...it's also in family matters too.

We must do many things to really see change come into effect.  Setting priorities.  Doing some meditating. Letting go of our ego.  Letting go of our "things", which include opinions, thoughts, jewelry, judgments, furniture, cars, sons, grandchildren, relationships, wives/husbands, pets, houses, trips, daughters, church, work.....ya.  That's quite a bit of "letting go", I'd say. It means too, to let go of these things that become first place in our lives in order for God to take rightful place. The first of the Ten Commandments state: "You shall have no other gods before me."  These "things" in our lives can take over and become little gods to us...can take over in the number one spot.

Actually, Jesus says it best:  "...anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields—whatever—because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first."  

Personally, I like the "whatever" part!  It seems to include much of life!  But when our priorities are wrong, we end up last. Switch those priorities around (and that means making the decision to do so coming from the heart) then we end up first!  It's what Jesus said, at least.

So, I shall continue on this course of improvement.  Should you see me acting unbecomingly and contrary to all I have mentioned here, please feel free to approach me and make me accountable.  It's what love does.

As the song goes..."...these are a few of my favorite things".  Am I willing to let them take a back seat...even my family, in order for God to be number one?

  Good question.  It's become a priority.....I'm working on it...

HP will be the death of me...

That's right!!!!  Machines will be the death of me!

I have this piece of junk for a printer.  It's beautiful on the outside, nice and shiny.  It copies, faxes, emails, cooks up a great supper....prints.  Ya....prints alright!  It prints only in color.  Anything that is in black, comes out blank.

Off to the box store for new cartridges, thinking that was the problem.

We're talking HP products here folks!!!  Junk! Total Junk!

Went on the HP forum on Google asking the question..."why is my HP printer not printing in black?" Behold, I am one among many who are asking the same dad blamed thing and the only solution HP can come up with in response is, "Please unplug your machine" and "realign your machine by pressing this and that and this and that and this and that and this and that and this and that" and then, "press OK".  Nothing works.

You would think a corporation this large would have a simple solution to this problem, wouldn't you?  I mean, they must be dang millionaires/billionaires by now...especially if everyone buying their products have to pay $15. plus dollars for every cartridge they replace...so that's $60 bucks a shot for this printer.  See what I mean.  THEY ARE MAKING CRAP MERCHANDISE and I for one, will never again purchase anything HP....EVER AGAIN!!!!

I know.  I know.  I can use the various colors to print off documents.  I guess that's my only solution.  You would think someone at HP would have at least given folks that option, even if it's an obvious one...but NO...they don't even offer that.

See.  I'm really ticked off about this!  REALLY!  Machines are wonderful, necessary killer beasts.  They let you use them and just when you become dependent on them for their usefulness, they come in for the kill, slicing at your heart and leaving you wondering what hit you.  Ya.  Machines do that.  They do.  They're like a heartless lover who only thinks of taking what they can get and leaving you abandoned with no black print job!

I could go on.

Well, then there's all the paper that gets wasted not to mention your time and brain power.  I even called in the big guns...Matt.  He did all the looking and unplugging and Googling and such.  So, that's two people involved.  But then there was my special trip to the box store to purchase a black and magenta cartridge because the machine asked for them.  Ya, the crap products talk to you too!  So, after replacing those two cartridges, the black still didn't print!  So, then I figured perhaps it needed all the cartridges replaced.  Texted Matt and asked if he would stop by the said box store on his way home and purchase a new cyan and yellow cartridge...plus an extra black one to have on hand....all in all, a $75. buck touch...PLUS TAX!!!  Yep.  That's why HP owners are sitting back on their fat behinds, raking in all my and millions of other folks' money.

Since retirement really doesn't produce much revenue, I may just think about going into production of crap merchandise myself.  At least it would be a lucrative business.  And I could wile away my days, twiddling my fingers, waiting for the cash to roll in from all my crap merchandise...and every now and then I could say something on the internet forum about my crap merchandise...I could say "Please turn your crap machine off and on again", while the cash flows in and piles up on my new Epson printer.

The end....

My daughter speaks...

And this is how she summed up yesterday...a day with family...a day of reminiscing...


"We said good bye today to Eddie, my dad's brother. As we did so and as the day wore on MY family gathered all together later on (missing Brit) and reminisced of days gone by. We shared some good laughs of Uncle Eddie and it made me thankful for our time as a family and reminded me just how nice it was & still is to be able to share in each other's lives...time...which really is such a gift. It's hard, as I get older, watching my parents age, as I realize how short life really is in the watching of how quickly moments become memories before we have time to fully draw our awareness to our own presence in each time & place. I am lucky to have loving parents & an amazingly gentle brother alive who still love, as well as, offer me up endless amounts of patience, which in turn humbles me! Cheers to memories & families, with which none of us should ever have to go without!"


Yes, yesterday was special in so many ways and at so many levels.  Shannon summed it all up beautifully. She captured the importance of time...how we need to appreciate it and use it for our good and the good of others.

I did appreciate our day...probably as much as she did, even in the midst of death passing by.

Death stops by...

Ken's brother passed away this week.  He was 80.  Although in the past few years, we haven't really communicated that much, other than a coffee at McDonalds, a few BBQs at our trailer or the last time, while he sat and received his kidney dialysis.  He wasn't happy with the way his life was...dialysis three times a week for 4-6 hours at a time or more.  He was a bit of a grumpy fellow most of the time...who wouldn't be!! But it seemed to be in his nature.  Some folks are simply like that.  He enjoyed an argument, thinking he was right all the time. One of the things he will be remembered for.

But there was another side to Eddy.  He was generous to a fault. He had that kind of nature.  And he loved giving his all to his grandsons.  They were precious to him and never failed to mention their accomplishments...a true and devoted grandpa.

Life wasn't easy for him after his dear wife, Lorna, passed away.  Half of him was missing...like it is for most people who have lost their spouse after having been together for a very long time. And his health was very poor. Diabetes.  Heart problems. Kidney failure.  It all added up to his death.

I remember (can it be nearly 50 years ago!) him lending his little brother, Kenny, his brand new car to take for a spin.  We were dating at the time and here was my boyfriend pulling into our driveway with this HUGE deep purple, 2 door something-or-other car with plush everything inside and little tiny lights all around the floorboard, not to mention stereo sound on the radio!  I was impressed....impressed that my boyfriend's older brother, Eddy, would lend him his most prized possession to impress me.  And as the years went by, there were times he would take us fishing in his boat, when we had none. Times when he and Lorna would allow us to stay in their cabin, when we had none. That generous spirit impressed me through the years.  He was a good man underneath his grumpy exterior!

I recall him too, when he was younger...30 or so.  He was a handsome fellow with blond wavy/curly hair and an infectious laugh.  He and Lorna made a nice looking couple.  He was always proud of his wife too, I think.  She was a highly trained and proficient Director of Nursing at the Holy Family Hospital and he enjoyed her extroverted ways as it allowed him more friendships.  Otherwise, he was a 'quiet' kind of guy.

His grandsons will miss him, I know.  And even though we haven't been close in recent years, we shall miss him also.  The good thing is that his bad health and having to be alone...is over.

May God gather him up into a much better place than this...peace to his memory.

Ready???

Not sure if I'm quite ready for the snow to stay.  It hasn't arrived as I type but it's expected to lay us flat by Monday.  Don't get me wrong...I love the white.  I love to see it falling and then sparkling when the sun comes out again. It's all so...wintry and Christmasy.

The older I get, the more I can sympathize with folks who don't look forward to the long months ahead, filled with cold weather and leafless trees. I may just need a 'project' of some sort. I have some crazy notions and ideas but we'll see how motivated I can become.

But getting back to the snow...I believe it's something within me that gets excited about watching a snow storm.  I could sit for hours and hours and just watch it pile up with the wind whipping it wildly, giving it shapes with ridges and banks winding it's way around corners of buildings and vehicles, covering trees and fields and rivers....giving the storm a creatively beautiful mind of its own. Yes, a storm simply creates it's own beauty.

Tomorrow will find me sitting silently by the window...watching the beauty that will envelop us.

Sleep well.....

Bake it and they will come....

And they did.

People bought stuff they shouldn't be eating....and I was the number 1 culprit.

All for a good cause though.  It was the Women Ministries major fund raiser today and was, as usual, a great success.  Lots of hard work, many laughs, great visits and wonderful fellowship.  People bought up loaves of Sweedish Rye bread like there was no tomorrow.  The pies and butter tarts, jars of chokecherry syrup and dishes of date cake....all were bought and I know, will be devoured.

Some of our ladies were too ill to come, having colds and flu.  But the ones that took on great chunks of extra responsibility showed themselves, once again, faithful to the cause.

Here's how it all went.....

See, we CAN have some fun at church events:)  You can tell by all the smiling going on!

Flying by.....

Several weeks have passed since I've written here.  When they say that times flies...it does!

Days run quickly into weeks and into months.  I can barely keep up the pace.

This week has me in meetings, doctor appointments, husband's physio, Kid's Klub, worship practice and of course, baking for this Saturday's Country Store...10 - 3.  There has barely been a spare moment!  It's difficult when you hear someone casually hinting that I may be lazy...but I suppose that would be their perception of me.  I do admit that I may have a bit of a lazy streak in me, the one that wants to sit with my swollen feet up and watch some telly or read a terrific book...or connect here on my blog...or do some picture taking...or coffee with my husband....or checking out Facebook....or....ya....just doing the stuff that I do and enjoy doing.  So when I hear those misconceptions of my person, I get to rethinking all that I'm doing because maybe, just maybe I AM LAZY.  I don't think I am but perhaps they think I'm lazy because a lot of the things I do are not directly church related.  Pretty narrow thinking on their part, I would suspect and a bit judgmental too.  So, I shall go about my daily run-of-the-mill tasks, attempting to live more wholly for others (I find that one hard, too) and slowing time down so it doesn't fly by so quickly....guess that would take some kind of supernatural effort on my part.  If it works, I shall quickly get a patent.

Tomorrow will find us getting our blood work done for our doctors appointments next week.  I will also be packaging up all my baking and setting up tables at the church for the sale on Saturday.  We always have a good time at that sale...a great fund-raiser too!

AND, today we had our flu shots!  Got yours?

So, enjoy your night!  It is a gift that allows our bodies to catch up a bit with the busyness of life.

And yes, it's that time of year again...see, time really does fly!

I'm ba-aaaaaaaaaaaaak........

Nope.  I'm not dead.  Haven't even moved away...nor have I been eaten by monsters.

That's been a four month drought here and I'm fearing any people who may have been following this blog probably have long ditched and left the premises, like I did.

I figured I'd just stop by here to say hello to myself and get the old "blog feel" back again.  Not sure if it will ever come back.  We shall see.  Certainly takes more effort than just looking at Facebook.  I have to get my old arthritic fingers moving again and my brain in gear.

Since June we have been on vacation, come home from same, husband had surgery for a hip replacement, granddaughter has moved to Saskatoon and son has come home for a nice longer-than-normal visit.  Some pretty big things in four months.

We experienced our first real flood when the rains came at Waskesiu.  It was an incredible experience!

After we got the rains out of the way...August was a beautiful month! And with the coming of September it just continued on and now into October.

Now to get husband walking again with his new hip and we'll be in business.  He seems to want to walk on that leg without his walker but the physio therapist will have none of that!  Easy does it, she says.  But through all of this, I have a new appreciation for the work of all health care workers out there not to mention single parents who have to "do it all"!  It's tough work...really tough work.  Physically exhausting. I can't remember ever being this tired, even when the children weren't sleeping through the night!!!  And it's mentally challenging just to stay on top of everything that needs doing.  Physically being care giver for this big husband of mine, doing all the household chores...cleaning, laundry, dishes plus all the cooking and grocery shopping, driving to and from appointments, and not leaving him alone for any length of time....well, to be honest, I'm just not used to being in a 100% do-it-all relationship.  We have always split responsibilities during our 45 years of marriage and now at 65, when I'm beginning to run out of steam, I'm required to do the whole enchilada.  Not for much longer, mind you.  But ya, a whole new appreciation goin' on here!!!  Hats off to care givers and all single moms!!!!!  I salute you!!!!

So, we shall continue on with physio appointments and enjoy son's visit with us for another week.  It has been very good.

It's 9:30.  Off to bed.  I shall get more pictures up here too, as I have time.  Nite!  This was the river last evening...